Many of you will remember that a couple months ago I posted about my hesitancy to change my name after getting married. This post really stirred up quite a bit of feedback, and I thought it was time to share a little update on what I decided to do with my name.
After that post went up, plenty of friends and family members were eager to share their advice on what they thought I should do. Some thought it was a Biblical responsibility to change my name to Hofmeyer, while others, including my 91-year-old grandmother, thought I shouldn’t feel any pressure to change my name; she’s a bit of a feminist and ahead of her time.
But the advice that really hit home with me was an e-mail I received from a woman who is very dear to my heart and has always been someone I’ve respected and admired. She told me when she got married, she, too, struggled changing her last name and what that would mean for her identity. And while she now goes by her married name, it didn’t come quickly. Thankfully, her husband was incredibly patient and allowed her to change her last name slowly, as it felt right for her to do so.
Knowing that I could give myself the freedom to adjust to my new name slowly, bit by bit, made it much easier for me. Ultimately, I want to share a last name with my husband and my kids some day, but jumping into being Madison Hofmeyer head first seemed a bit too much.
So, slowly but surely, I’m transitioning to Madison Hofmeyer. Legally, I’ve settled on Madison Jane MayberryHofmeyer (no spaces), so I can still be connected to my family name. Many people in my personal life address letters and packages to ‘Joe and Madison Hofmeyer’. And everyone at work still calls me Madison Mayberry. While it may seem a little confusing, it seems to feel right to me at this point. I imagine that some day, I’ll completely transition to Madison Hofmeyer, but for now I feel comfortable where I’m at, as does Joe. And I suppose that’s all that really matters, right?