When Joe and went shopping for wedding bands I remember how confused everyone was when I decided to pick a simple, inexpensive gold band as my wedding band. Instead of choosing something that matched my diamond engagement ring set in platinum, I decided that I wanted a humble, understated band I could wear and not worry about scratching it, losing it or getting it dirty. Initially, it was a decision based on simplicity and practicality, but as we inch up on 3 years of marriage, that simple gold band means a lot more to me.
These days I wear that simple gold band 80% of the time. Sometimes it makes Joe shake his head, wondering why on earth he would have spent all that money on a diamond when I’m just as satisfied, if not more satisfied, with a $300 band.
And oh how I do love that ring. When I look down at it on my finger, slightly tarnished and scratched and simple it reminds me of what real marriage is like. It’s a daily reminder to me that marriage is beautiful and sacred, but it’s also messy and complicated and takes a whole lot of hard work in the day-to-day.
My diamond engagement ring (and the diamond band Joe later bought me to match it) is the ring I wear when I’m dressed up, going somewhere special, in the more glamorous moments of life. But my gold band is my “everyday” ring. It’s the ring I wear while we do life together in the real world. It’s a ring for bed head and bad breath and tears and dance parties in the kitchen and moving boxes and yard work and fixing plumbing issues.
On this Valentine’s Day we will be celebrating with couple friends tonight and spending a long weekend together by both taking Monday off work. It’s not going to be anything extravagant, and I think I’ll be wearing that same, simple gold band the entire time.