The Marital Compromises We Make

June 20, 2014


Next month Joe and I will celebrate three years of marriage. I’m tempted to say that I can’t believe it, but that’s only partly true. It’s so strange how these past three years feel long and short all at once. I feel like it was just yesterday that we got married on that beautiful summer morning in July, but it also feels like we’ve been married for a lifetime. We’ve experienced so much life in the past three years that sometimes I get tired just thinking about it; I can’t imagine what the next three years will bring.

The past two weeks Joe and I have been traveling a lot for work, and we’ve been on opposite schedules because of that travel. While sleeping in a king-sized bed all to myself the other night (!!!), I got to thinking about the little compromises that we make, like every other married couple, that keeps our relationship going strong.*

1. Where We Live
If it were up to me, I think I could be happy living in a town home with just a little piece of grass for the rest of my life. Either that or a very small house with a very small yard. Joe, on the other hand, needs space and a yard and lots of house projects to work on. It keeps him happy, sane and stress-free. So our compromise is to live in a modest-sized house with a reasonably sized yard.

2. My Last Name
Those of you who have been reading this blog for a while remember that I struggled with what to do with my last name. Take Joe’s last name? Or keep mine? Joe didn’t pressure me in one way or another. And I settled on taking both last names! I’m Mayberry at work at Hofmeyer at home with our friends and family. And, in case you’re wondering, our kiddos will be just plain Hofmeyer.

3. Our Pets
Joe would have preferred having big dogs. I never thought I wanted dogs, until I found a breed I love. And that, my friends, is how we ended up with two Cavaliers. Joe would agree now that they are the best dogs around.

4. How We Eat
Slowly over the past few years, Joe has become more of a healthy eater than he was when we dated or first got married. I love that he’s eating healthier, but I don’t expect him to eat mostly vegetarian like me. Instead, I prepare meat for his meals regularly as long as he is willing to eat vegetarian a few nights a week. Additionally, I prefer to shop at Whole Foods for a certain amount of our groceries, which Joe used to hate, but now he understands how much it means to me and has come around.

5. Splitting Household Responsibilities
When we first got married, I was really worried that I would be getting a second “job” with all the wifely duties I would take on. Thankfully Joe understood my fears and has made every effort to help out around the house. I do what I’m best at, such as grocery shopping, cooking the meals, packing lunches, washing the sheets and making the beds, and Joe does what he’s best at, including taking out the trash, letting out the dogs and feeding them, giving the dogs baths, doing the yard work and cleaning the bathrooms. It’s nice to have someone to split the responsibilities with and makes our marriage feel more like a partnership.

What marital compromises do you married folk make that keep your marriage running smoothly? 

*I think it goes without saying, but this list is on the lighter side. There are, of course, many other compromises we make that are not mentioned.

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  • Reply Justine June 20, 2014 at 1:40 pm

    I love this post, and there’s a very good chance I will steal it 😉 Of course, I also love everything about your family and any time they’re mentioned, so that helps too!

    • Reply MadisonMayberry June 26, 2014 at 10:39 am

      I would love if you would steal it. I think it’s fascinating to hear how people balance and make compromises in their marriage. 🙂

  • Reply Urban Wife June 23, 2014 at 12:20 am

    I had to smile at the Whole Foods shopping comment because that is so us! One compromise we have is also with eating (he’s willing and likes to try new things I make) but the man has to have his meat, so I make that for him occasionally. It’s the little things that make marriage that much easier, right? 🙂

    • Reply MadisonMayberry June 26, 2014 at 10:41 am

      You guys sound exactly like us! Ha! I love it. I’m so thankful for a husband who isn’t a picky eater, aren’t you? It makes it so easy knowing I can make pretty much anything and Joe’s willing to eat it and usually likes it, too.

  • Reply Ali Grace July 3, 2014 at 2:20 am

    I love this. My husband and I could not be more opposite. Which means LOTS of compromising (big and small) and it hasn’t been easy. It’s always good to hear that I’m not alone!

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