There are no words to describe the joy it brings me being Ainsley’s mom. This child of mine? Well, like any other mom on the planet, I think she’s the most amazing, special and delightful kid I’ve ever met. After we got over the craziness of the newborn days, which weren’t my favorite, I found motherhood to be a fairly natural transition. It was hard to give up the freedom and independence I was accustomed to, but it was nothing compared to what I gained as I took on the role of mom.
All of that said, I try not to over-glamorize motherhood on this blog. It’s wonderful, fulfilling and full of so much good, but it’s also hard work. More often than not, I feel like I’m doing many things but I’m not doing anything really well. Do you know the feeling?
Running your own businesses, juggling childcare schedules that rarely go as planned, managing freelance deadlines that are unpredictable and trying to keep our house in some sort of suitable state while also investing in my faith, fitness, quiet time and marriage while juggling the needs of a toddler? Well, it’s crazy and there’s no way around it.
Sometimes I wonder how we will ever, God willing, manage to add another kid to the mix. I already feel like Joe and I are living in a state of craziness with one kid. What will two or three look like? I’ve never really considered us the type of people who thrive in chaos or a constant barrage of “loud” but I can’t see our house getting quieter any time soon.
But you know what? These days that we’re living in are the best days of our life. I have so many times each week where I feel an almost physical pain longing to stop time, to freeze Ainsley at this age and stage forever. If I could bring time to a screeching halt I probably would have long ago.
Ainsley was boycotting bed time last night, running around the house playing in her kiddie kitchen and dancing in circles around the house and laughing like an over-tired maniac. I couldn’t help but look at her and soak in every bit of her toddler-ness. Life may be crazy (without a doubt!) and I may be running on fumes (almost always!) but I wouldn’t trade sleep, showers, a clean house or a more manageable schedule for anything that we’ve got right now.
Like everyone says: The days are long but the years are short. Enjoy them while you can, momma!