Family

Parenting the Strong-Willed

November 14, 2018

The other day, I shared a post on Instagram about these two little strong-willed firecracker children of mine. I rarely talk about the difficult parts of parenting littles in specifics online, because I want to protect my children and their dignity online even from a young age. I don’t think showcasing their meltdowns, tantrums and fits for the world to see is fair to them. That said, I do, on occasion, like to pull back the curtain on how I struggle parenting little people and what it reflects to me about my own heart and mind. And let me tell you, while my girls can be extremely sweet, bright and lovely, they are also equally blessed with strong wills and big emotions. I think they have both their mom and dad to thank for that. 😉

These two little people? They are the best little humans around. I love that they are spunky, fearless and bold and these qualities are things I have no doubt will serve them well as they grow older if we can successfully harness and direct them in the right way. But in the trenches of parenting tiny people, it can be a challenge to not get caught in the comparison game.

Why are my kids not content to sit through an entire church service playing quietly and reading books? Why does sitting through a meal in a nice restaurant feel like torture most days? Am I doing something wrong? Do parents of quiet, mellow children know something I don’t? Sometimes it can be emotionally draining and overwhelming as a parent, can’t it?

But you know the funny thing? In my heart of hearts it doesn’t really bother ME at all that my girls are this way. They are kids. Vibrant, funny, normal, energetic little people and I love their zest for life and budding desire to assert their independence and wills. Their extroverted little personalities that would rather be walking around the room talking to strangers and putting on a show rather than sitting quietly at the table coloring a picture.

At my best, I’m the confident, assured mom who delights in the challenges and joys of parenting these two girls. Who prays for patience during meltdowns and calmly handles the bumps in the road. At my worst, I get caught up in the trap of the expectations of others, the sideways glances when a meltdown happens in public or my kids are just NOT having it at a restaurant.

I’m not saying it’s unimportant to develop skills like obedience, listening, and quiet play, but that there certainly is a large margin of error for letting kids be kids and allowing their unique personalities to shine. Realizing there are areas of improvement to be had at every turn in this job called parenting, but beating ourselves up about it is not necessary nor helpful in the long-game that is parenting.

So to my fellow mommas of little kids with big personalities and strong wills, I see you! I don’t just see you, I’m right there with you, chasing my kid around the room as she runs away from me, pulling a crazy, climbing baby off a table, walking out of the room with a mad preschooler, having serious-whisper conversations with a preschooler out in public.

It’s rarely easy, but it’s always worth it, and I have a feeling we’re doing just fine. And on the days when we are completely worn down? Well, His mercies are new to us parents of strong willed little people each and every day. Can I get an amen?!

Madison

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