I spent a lot of time reading (okay, obsessing and worrying) about what was normal vs. not normal during the first trimester. After two miscarriages I was extremely worried that my symptoms weren’t normal or our baby wasn’t healthy. Understandable, yes, but healthy? Absolutely not!
Since a lot of my symptoms weren’t textbook “normal” I thought perhaps some other moms-to-be could use a little reminder that what the books and websites say don’t necessarily hold true all the time. They’re simply generalizations. You can have a less than textbook pregnancy and still be carrying a very healthy baby.
Here are a few of my pieces of advice based on my experience:
What the Books and Websites Say
Morning sickness is good! It’s a sign that you’re baby is healthy and you’re hormone levels are rising appropriately.
What I Say
This was one of the greatest fears and sources of worry for me with all 3 of my pregnancies. I hated every time someone told me that morning sickness was a sign my baby was doing well, especially when I didn’t feel sick! I remember laying on the couch 11 weeks pregnant with this baby, praying to God that he would give me morning sickness so I could feel reassured that our baby was healthy.
The truth? Morning sickness didn’t hit me until around 12 weeks and eased up around 18 weeks, and even then it wasn’t very bad. I threw up only a handful of times, and looking back I should have been thankful for how good I felt through the first trimester. I wish people would quit saying that morning sickness is a good sign, because every pregnancy is so different!
What the Books and Websites Say
Cramping, lower back aches and other pains can be a sign of miscarriage in the first trimester! Be afraid!
What I Say
While that’s certainly true, that extremely bad cramps can be a sign of miscarriage early on, I think that you need to be in tune with your body and not jump to conclusions. Prior to getting pregnant I struggled frequently with cramps and stomach discomfort, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to me that those same discomforts would follow me in pregnancy. Also, with my two miscarriages I never experienced severe cramps or any unusual symptoms, so it’s really hard to make broad generalizations.
What the Books and Websites Say
Bleeding/spotting during the first trimester may mean you’re going to miscarry.
What I Say
Yes, that’s certainly true, that bleeding can be a sign of miscarriage, but I wish I had known how incredibly common it is to spot during early pregnancy. It probably would have given me a bit more perspective and calmed me a bit. I have had a couple good girlfriends spot during the first trimester and they went on to deliver healthy, happy babies. I’m not saying you shouldn’t keep an eye on these type of things, but my hope is that women don’t freak out like I did!
What the Books and Websites Say
You should only gain about 5 pounds during the first trimester.
What I Say
This was something I was totally unprepared for! I gained more weight in my first trimester (around 11 pounds) than I did in my second trimester (only about 6 pounds) and wasn’t textbook at all in this regard. I worried that since I gained so much in the first trimester it would mean I was going to be off-the-charts my entire pregnancy, but your body truly does know what it is doing. Trust your body and trust that as long as you aren’t going crazy with the junk food and ice cream, your body is doing exactly what it needs to do to nourish baby.
Mommas, do you have anything else to add to this list?
Madison